The Things We Carry
42: Reminders of Our Home Planet
Picture this:
You are granted passage aboard a spacecraft to leave earth. It is as large as a cruise ship and just as intimidating. The hull is full of steel beams, chain links, rubber, iron pellets, and a host of other materials. One full deck houses barrels of chemicals marked biohazard.
What would you take with you?
Our history and culture is tied to land and what spouts from it. We are bark and seed and prickly leaf. If we leave this planet, what will we carry with us to remember where we’re from? It’s a question I’ve pondered while imagining a Goldilocks planet called Minos which is the location of my short story “Ithaka”.
We can ship avocados from halfway across the world or have our aunties send spices in the mail, but it’s not the same when you’re leaving a home planet. An interesting facet of the trek to Minos is what people will take with them.
1.
Cara clutched her duffel bag and darted across an open field, keeping low until she reached the docking stations toward the far end of the yard. Unlit rooms with frosted windows sat atop solid metal stilts. Paul would be waiting for her at berth 3 at 10pm sharp. Her rubber soles barely squeaked as she neared the meeting place, hugging the walls of a back corridor, inching farther still.
Her watch read 9:58pm when she heard muffled footsteps approach. She tensed and backed against a wall.
“Cara!” he whispered loudly.
“I’m here!”
They met under a curtain of blackness outside the pooled, hazy light of a mounted lamp.
“Early. I like that.”
“Didn’t want to be late, that’s all,”she shifted both her feet and eyes.
“Come on.”
The hull loomed broad and tall with a smooth and seamless surface. Paul led her to a hatch that stood ajar, scanning his surroundings as he led her into the lower ship decks. The ship was eerily quiet so even their breath seemed to echo. A skeleton crew was on deck for final system checks before the full complement would board early the next morning. It was lights out and they passed through long, empty halls and down crawl spaces out of main thoroughfares with night patrol, before finally reaching an isolated cargo hold.
“Here’s where you’ll stay. We relocated sleeping quarters so you won’t be disturbed back here. Say, did anyone know you were coming?”
“N-no,” Cara stammered.
The narrow cabin had a modest cot dressed with a standard issue navy blue, wool blanket atop white sheets, and a single pillow. Next to the cot was a small sink and toilet. She scrunched her brow.
“Shower’s gonna be a pipe in a maintenance closet, unfortunately,” he said, reading her expression. “This is a long voyage. Six months at the very least with no delays. You ready?”
Cara nodded and smiled with sweat still tracing lines down her back. She set her bag down, breathed deeply, and stretched out wide with her eyes closed.
The ship’s crew spilled in from the docks with large duffle bags of their own for the journey ahead. They were good natured, but hardened, having coursed through light years of space with no end to the isolation. Suspicion and superstition nipped at their backs.
Paul searched the sprawling mess hall at breakfast for his friend. He spotted a broad shouldered man lumbering off the line and jogged over.
“Hey, how’s it going?” Paul asked as he lowered onto a stool.
“Shitty. Got assigned night watch again,” Victor said with a wink.
“It’s more crowded than I thought it would be.”
“Doesn’t matter. It’s all the same. How many did you get?”
“Only one.”
Victor grinned and spooned a helping of oatmeal into this mouth.
“I know. But people back out at the last minute all the time. How about you?”
“Five,” Victor said slyly.
“You little shit… Where are you keeping them?”
“Cargo Bay 13, of course. Where else?”
“That place gives me the creeps.”
“There’s a reason why. I spent two months designing a program that would randomly turn off and on lights, blow out circuits, blast cold air. Got a couple thick gauge metal wires in the ceiling tied to an old fashioned circuit board that randomly buzzes at this maddening frequency. It’s all old shit the computers can’t detect.”
“You’re a devious bastard.”
“That I am. So my folks get to take leisurely strolls. It’s even better for the legend. Conversation is dampened enough for it to sound like whispers through the main door.” Victor let out a bellow that drew looks from nearby tables.
“Unbelievable. I got my one but just want to get ahead of her cabin fever.”
“You know what people are most motivated by?”
Paul shook his head.
“Fear. People hate to admit it, but fear can charge you up more than any drug. But it also controls them. Use it. Maybe even slip in a little something something while you’re at it.”
Victor stuck his tongue out and painted the air.
Paul shoved him. “Nah. I’m… no. That’s not me.”
“It’s gonna be a long ride. Think about it.”
The ship soon set off from the launchpad, scattering pale blue light underneath it before jetting into the clouds.
Cara sat up in bed reading. She swiped from page to page of her favorite novel, nodding and smiling at the lines she knew by heart. The protagonist was on a harrowing journey to find riches and had just landed in a desert oasis.
She lay her tablet on the bed and grabbed her bag. Inside a small burlap sack were sealed seed packets of lavender, basil, red peppers, cardamom pods, and several other varieties she planned to plant in the soil on Minos to smell and taste home. She dug her hand in and spread more treasures onto the bed. There were bits of golden shimmering tulle, rolls of loose felt and a felting needle, a solid silver thimble an elderly neighbor gave her, and spools of thread. Then there were the books. Volumes and volumes were crammed onto her tablet. Freud, Doyle, Jung, Morrison, Hurston, Dick… and more she couldn’t even recall. They were all the works most precious to her, but also what heirlooms she kept to teach others. She scooped it all back into her bag and set it under the bed.
Cara curled up against mounting shivers and pulled her wool blanket closer. A patterned knock rapped at the door. She jerked up in bed and waited a moment. She knocked the response on her the side wall. The lock slid open and Paul entered.
“Hey, how are you?”
“Fine,” she said with a sigh.
“What were you up to?”
“Reading a novel I like. It’s about finding what you need not only during the journey but at your destination.”
“Sounds good. Just wanted to check in on you.”
Cara peered around at the ceiling and walls and felt the low vibration of ascent passed Earth’s stratosphere. Paul sat at the end of the bed.
“I’d like to see more of the ship if I can or at least learn more about how it works.”
“Yeah, we will. I got a friend on night watch who’ll help us get around.”
“Cool. I heard that Minos is really far, not sure how much, but I thought it would take a lot longer to get there.”
“Well, the way we travel is by a modified propulsion system. We measure distance in light years and if we tried to race light, we’d lose. It’s traveling at 600 million miles per hour. At those speeds, we’d tear this ship apart. What we do is…”
He hopped off the bed and motioned for Cara to join him croucheing at eye level with the wool blanket. He placed his palms apart, then scrunched the cloth in between.
“We bend spacetime, effectively covering much greater distances in a shorter span of time. What used to take a whole lifetime is now down to a couple years in Earth time. Feels even shorter out here.”
“How do you bend space time?”
“Takes a lot of energy. We used to think the key was dark matter, basically use an atom splitter to harvest the energy out of it, keep it cold because it’s exothermic, then jet off.”
He glided his hand over her head into the air.
“I mean, I don’t know about the newer technology, which is a lot more complicated. I’m a nobody here.”
“You know a lot more than me,” Cara smiled.
“Why would you leave? We have so much to do right here! People need us here!” Wren screamed.
“This is not a battle to be won! We can’t win. But we can find another way,” Cara said.“What other way is there?”
“Maybe you’re too chicken to find one, but I will.” Cara stormed out of the room and slammed the door.
Cara walked among the flowering plants of the garden, wafting in the lilacs that had just begun to bloom. She passed a century’s old red oak and reached out to touch its cobblestoned bark.
“I knew I’d find you here,” Wren said.
Cara turned. “I just needed to think.”
“You’re always thinking. When I get worried is when you act. You take off in a flash.”
“You don’t have to worry about me, Wren. I can take care of myself.”
“You don’t have to. I can take care of you.”
Wren tugged at Cara’s arm and sat her down on a moss covered stone bench. They listened to chittering insects, bird calls, and chipmunks skittering through the underbrush.
“Whatever you want to do, we can do it together,” Wren said, taking Caras’s hand into hers and laying it in her lap. Cara broke her hold and stood up, staring toward the deep crimson flowers of the rose garden.
“Talk to me, Cara. Please. I can help you.”
Her eyes welled up and she hung her head, tears dangling from the corners.
“You have to promise you won’t tell anyone.”
Wren pressing their foreheads together.
“I promise.”
Paul brought muffins and cheese in a piece of cloth and set it down on the bed.
“Thanks, I’m starving.”
“Wasn’t easy. Had to hurry this time.”
Cara scarfed down the muffin and washed it down with gulps of water from the sink.
“Hey, someone has been snooping around here. Have you heard anything?”
She shook her head.
“It’s probably better we keep you out of sight. I may not be able to come by everyday.”
“Will I still get some food?”
“Of course. That’s why I gave you a bit extra. We just need to let things blow over.”
“For how long?”
Paul bit his lip and mumbled an answer.
“I’m a little cooped up here. Think I could get out for a walk or something. There’s only so many sit-ups one person can do.”
Paul’s cheeks stretched taught and he glared at her. “Don’t press me about it.”
Cara narrowed her eyes, but said nothing. She stared unblinking until he turned and went out the door.
“How’s it going with your little one?” Victor asked.
“She’s a handful.” Paul rushed into Victor’s cabin.
“Alright. No big deal. Want me to chat with her?”
“No, I can handle it. It’s just frustrating. She’s always complaining.”
“Yeah, well. They’re often ungrateful.”
“How do you manage five?”
“I’m easy. Let them know we can get along fine with some ground rules. Your problem is you tried to be friends. That’s not the relationship. You’re basically her captor. She has to do what you say or else.”
Paul shifted uncomfortably, unsure of his idle hands before beginning to fidget.
“Wow, you are jumpy. Maybe give it a few days. Let her soften up,” Victor mused.
Paul leaned against a wall and crossed his arms, considering the suggestion. Cara was going to be handed off to a buyer on Nexus Prime who would sell or keep all her possessions, then pass her off again to a labor camp. He had only known Cara a short time, but they’d become fast friends. When an offer came for an ungodly amount to deliver eight people, he proposed the voyage. Cara was his eighth stowaway and once delivered, Paul would never have to see the inside of a merchant ship again.
Cara spent her days volleying between exercising and nervously pacing the small cabin. She held a trinket Wren had given her, a furry white rabbit with a bright pink nose and poof for a tail. She smoothed her thumb over it, taunted by the distant clang of warping metal.
A familiar knock came at the door.
“No food today. Couldn’t smuggle any,” Paul said.
“I haven’t eaten in four days. Luckily there’s water or I’d starve to death.”
“Sorry.” Paul rubbed the tops of his thighs and avoided her gaze.
She pursed her lips and tears swelled.
“It’s okay. Maybe tomorrow,” she said.
Her belly cinched itself like purse strings. Tight.
“Can I at least step out? Maybe you can show me the stars,” she pouted.
He pulled her in and mechanically embraced her, scraped his dry lips against the side of her neck. She held still and steadied her breathing.
When their eyes met, she ran her finger down his lapel. “Please?”
Paul relented, leading her through a few passages on their way to an observation area with portholes to the universe. Cara kept close, stealing glances at orientation markings on the wall and counting her paces from those landmarks. She charted out the path of overhead ducts and the sites of electrical panels. Paul kept his eyes forward, signaling when it was clear. They reached the observation deck and she neared the cool glass, tracing the tails of quickly moving stars.
“It’s… amazing.”
“Yeah. And right as we slow down, they get brighter before the darkness fills in between.”
He stood behind her and nestled his chin on her shoulder. She fought the urge to jerk her body away. Beyond her line of sight, Victor stood watch.
“Thank you,” she said softly.
2.
“Is he alone?” they asked.
“No. He’s working with this guy Victor, some burly sonofabitch with an alpha male complex. He comes by every other night, right?” Cara said.
“For now. Until he gets bored, then it’s a week or two.”
“Okay, during a long interval, gather the people together on 13. We need to get uniforms, a ship’s map, access to food, anything. Last resort is the captain. He has an incentive to keep the peace among the crew. And this isn’t military, it’s merchant so…”“I know. Long game.”
“I’ll try to keep Paul… under control.” Cara sighed heavily.
“Message me.”
They pressed foreheads and Cara crawled through the passage back to her cabin.
“Change of plan. You’re leaving at Nexus Prime,” Paul said curtly.
“Paul, please. That wasn’t the agreement.”
“It is now. I can’t afford to stow you here anymore. Too risky.”
“You can’t be fucking serious. I’m one person staying quiet as a mouse. And I paid to go to Minos.”
“You should think about what else you can give me. Or the food delivery stops.”
“What the hell do you want?”
“The tablet, maybe? Those seeds.” He eyed her bag greedily.
“Not a chance.”
Paul vigorously nodded, becoming more and more agitated.
“No one knows you’re here and no one is even looking for you!” His body quaked.
Cara shrunk back in front of all she carried with her.
“Be a good girl and maybe I’ll let you out during night watch to see the stars.”
He slammed the door shut which reverberated into the hollows of the empty cargo bay. When it was silent, Cara knelt under the sink and unscrewed a panel below it. She took one last look before disappearing behind the wall.
Paul took a walk to cool down. The ship would reach it’s stopover on Nexus soon and he only had to hold it together a bit longer. He went back with a food and drink offering, but the door swung wide to reveal a neatly made bed in an empty cabin. He staggered backward out of the doorway, spilling the food onto the floor. His chest rose and fell as his rage mounted, contorting his face.
“Cara… Cara!” he growled.
She lay cocooned in the ink black darkness of the cargo hold near scattered crates.
“I’ll find you. And when I do…” he let his words trail into the hot stink of heaving breath. He kept backing up, with burning eyes that pierced each corner.
“Fletcher!”
“Yes, sir!” He straightened and raked his hair back with his fingertips.
“The hell are you doing here? It’s chow time.” The ship’s captain eyed Paul’s sweaty and pale face.
“Needed one last look at the inventory,” he said, gesturing toward the crates.
“You’re right, but we can get to that at 09:00. Right now it’s time for food and rest. Can’t break our backs halfway to the finish line.”
“Of course, sir.”
“Alright. I’ll see you in two minutes.”
“Two minutes. Yes, sir.”
The captain headed to the mess hall, whistling a jaunty tune that faded with his steps.
Paul’s body bent and he hissed a warning into the dark before slithering away. Cara lay still and waited for the rhythmic hum of the ship to return before making her way down three decks to cargo bay 13.
What’s next?
Study of dialogue
Being present
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Douglas Adams recommended you should always carry a towel, but I love the idea of seeds.